Game of Thrones is coming back in a few short days. The HBO show has grown into an international phenomenon since it first aired back in 2011. Despite the tendency of the Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin to kill of characters willynilly, there are still a whole bunch to remember. Here’s a quick cheat sheet of some of the more important people in the Game of Thrones universe.
Ramsey Snow | Iwan Rheon
aka ‘Sausage’n’Egg McMuffin’
The bastard son of the equally repellent Roose Bolton, Ramsey Snow spent most of Season 3 torturing Theon Greyjoy and pretending to eat penises.
Jojen Reed | Thomas Brodie-Sangster
aka ‘Love Actually’
Jojen shares Bron Stark’s greensight abilities. He saw in a dream that he had to aid Bron get to North of the Wall, and spent much of Season 3 walking and explaining Bron’s power in some of the show’s more lacklustre scenes.
Roose Bolton | Michael McElhatton
aka ‘Shit wedding guest’
The father of Ramsey Snow, Roose Bolton betrayed the Starks to gain favour with the Lannisters and also gain the ‘Warden of the North’ title. He planned much of the Red Wedding, which means he’s got a lot to answer for in Season 4.
Margaery Tyrell | Natalie Dormer
aka ‘Tits McGee.’
Margaery Tyrell was married to the late Renly Baratheon, but seemed happy to jump ship when that went South. She’s currently betrothed to King Joffrey Baratheon, Renly’s nephew (sort of), which would significantly increase the influence of the Tyrell house.
Davos Seaworth | Liam Cunningham
aka ‘Lord of the Onion Rings’
Davos was once a smuggler, but helped Stannis Baratheon during a siege way back in the day. He was repaid by Stannis with a Knighthood for his help and five fingers cut off for his smuggling, which he still somehow seems pretty ok with. His unwavering devotion to Stannis might be his undoing.
Gendry | Joe Dempsie
Gendry is the illegitimate son of the late Robert Baratheon. He journeyed with Arya Stark for much of Season 2 and 3 and was recently taken by Melisandre, who wanted to extract his royal blood for sorcery.
Walder Frey | David Bradley
aka ‘Filch is an asshole’
Arguably one of the worst blokes in a kingdom full of absolute shockers, Walder Frey hosted the Red Wedding and sat there laughing while a pregnant woman got stabbed in the tummy.
Brienne of Tarth | Gwendoline Christie
Brienne made it onto Renly Baratheon’s Kingsguard, but fled in the service of Catelyn Stark when Renly was murdered. She swore allegiance to Lady Stark and was charged with returning Jaime Lannister to King’s Landing. The two developed a mutual respect for one another, Lannister even going so far as to saving Brienne from rape and murder.
Hodor | Kristian Nairn
He says Hodor a lot, he’s got a big dick and he’s heading up North.
Ygritte | Rose Leslie
aka ‘Dennis The Menace’
A Wildling from North of the Wall, Ygritte falls in the love with Jon Snow, despite him being a bit of a wet blanket. She knows he hasn’t truly changed allegiance to the Wildings, but still seems surprised when he ditches her for the Night’s Watch.
Daario Naharis | Michael Huisman
aka ‘The Switcheroo’
Daario will be played by Michael Huisman in Season 4, unlike last season when he was played by Ed Skrein. Daario is the captain of the Stormcrows, a force aligned with Daenerys Targaryen. Daenerys is pretty keen on Daario, much to the chagrin of Jorah Mormont.
Samwell Tarly | John Bradley
Sam is heading South with Gilly and her baby. He found a bunch of dragonglass weapons, which are useful for killing The White Walkers.
Tormund Giantsbane | Kristofer Hivju
aka ‘Power Beard’
Tormund is one of the leaders of the Wilding forces and has an uncanny ability to make anything he says sound awesome. ReelGood would be more than happy to listen to Tormund for an entire episode. He seemed sad when Jon Snow betrayed the Wildlings to return to the Night’s Watch.
Jaime Lannister | Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
aka ‘ReelGood editor’s favourite character by a lot’
One of the most compelling and complicated characters in Westeros, Jaime Lannister is also one of the most misunderstood. Well yes, he does have sex with his sister, but we are willing to overlook this one little flaw considering how awesome he is in every other way. In Season 3 Jaime, previously one of the most dangerous fighters in Westeros, lost his sword arm. He also made it back to King’s Landing, thanks in no small part to Brienne of Tarth.
Cersei Lannister | Lena Headey
aka ‘If Jaime was my brother I’d probably go there too’
In Season 3, Cersei did pretty much what she’s been doing since the pilot episode – scheme. I don’t think anybody will be too upset if Cersei eventually bites the dust. Her only redeeming feature is that she like Jaime Lannister, and so do we.
Joffrey Baratheon | Jack Gleeson
aka ‘Justin Bieber’
Joffrey has been growing increasingly out of control and dangerous, which is saying a lot considering he’s responsible for the beheading of Ned Stark back in Season 1. He’s betrothed to Margaery Tyrell, who almost seems up to the task of keeping the little shit in check.
Tywin Lannister | Charles Dance
aka ‘Ol’ Grizzly Guts’
It will be much more difficult to enjoy Charles Dance’s fantastic portrayal of Tywin Lannister now that we know Tywin was largely responsible for the Red Wedding. At the end of Season 3, Tywin effectively ended the war with the Starks and is currently serving as Hand of the King to his dimwitted grandson Joffrey.
Tyrion Lannister | Peter Dinklage
aka ‘The Omar of Game of Thrones‘
Tyrion was married to Sansa Stark, contrary to the wishes of both parties. He’s still in love with his ex-prostitute girlfriend Shae, who’s not a huge fan of her bf getting hitched to the lady she serves.
Sansa Stark | Sophie Turner
aka ‘Starks and Recreation’
Sansa has had an abysmal time since her father was imprisoned and beheaded for treason back in Season 1. She’s the source of constant amusement for Joffrey and was forced to marry Tyrion Lannister, but more recently Littlefinger has offered her a way out.
Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish | Aidan Gillen
Referred to by those who know best as the most dangerous man in Westeros, it’s still not clear what the intentions of Littlefinger are, although they don’t seem good.
Varys | Conleth Hill
aka ‘Humpty Dumpty’
Mistrusted by many as an unfortunate result of being a eunuch, Varys constantly reminds others that he has only the best for the realm at heart. What he thinks the best for the realm is remains largely to be determined.
Daenerys Targaryen | Emilia Clarke
aka ‘Dragon Lady’
She’s got dragons. She’s got an army. And she wants Westeros back.
Catelyn Stark | Michelle Fairley
aka ‘Annoying Lady’
Catelyn Stark was on the move with her son’s army, but was placed in custody after releasing Jaime Lannister in an attempt to save her daughters. Catelyn was one of the many members of the Stark household who was brutally murdered during the Red Wedding.
Robb Stark | Richard Madden
aka ‘Soya Latte’
After his father was beheaded, Robb Stark became the leader of the Stark family and led a rebellion against Joffrey Baratheon that was initially successful. His choices in love led to mutiny. Robb and his wife were among the murdered guests at the Red Wedding.
Jorah Mormont | Iain Glen
aka ‘Barking up the wrong bush’
Banished from Westeros for slave trading to try to maintain his ex-wife’s expensive tastes, Mormont serves now as a member of Daenerys Targaryen’s Queensguard. He’s also desperately in love with her.
Jon Snow | Kit Harrington
Jon Snow has had a remarkably small impact on the plot since he joined the Night’s Watch at the beginning of Season 1. After spending all of last season masquerading as a friend of the Wildling’s, Snow finally headed back to Castle Black to rejoin his fellow Crows.
Theon Greyjoy | Alfie Allen
aka ‘The new Varys’
Theon spent the entire third season being tortured by Ramsey Snow. He has been all but abandoned by his family (undeserved) and his friends (very much deserved).
Bran Stark | Isaac Hempstead-Wright
aka ‘Hodor’s backpack’
Bron has the power to inhabit the mind of beasts, particularly his direwolf. He escaped Winterfell after Theon Greyjoy took hold of the castle. He’s heading North with Jojen Reed, but the reason remains a mystery to both of them.
Sandor ‘The Hound’ Clegane | Rory McCann
aka ‘Captain Awesome’
Sandor Clegane has been on the run since he abandoned his duties during the Battle of Blackwater. He kidnapped Arya and took her to the Twins to sell her back to her brother and mother, but the Red Wedding had already occurred and it was too late.
Bronn | Jerome Flynn
Bronn is a Sellsword who befriended Tyrion toward the conclusion of Season 1, although has asserted his services are not free. He fought in the Battle of Blackwater and has since been knighted.
Shae | Sibel Kikilli
aka ‘Google her old career’
Shae met Tyrion toward the end of Season 1 and accompanied him to King’s Landing. She was less than impressed when Tyrion was forced to marry Sansa.
Grand Maester Pycelle | Julian Glover
aka ‘He chose…poorly.’
Pycelle is the chief Maester at King’s Landing, and though he professes loyalty to the realm, he mainly serves the will of Cersei Lannister. He also pretends to be fairly virtuous, but loves prostitutes.
Barristan Selmy | Ian McElhinney
aka ‘ Gramps’
Barristan Selmy was part of the Targaryen Kingsguard for most of his life and is one of the most dangerous warriors in Westeros. When he discovered that Daenerys Targaryen was alive, he traveled across the sea to serve and protect her.
Asha | Natalia Tena
Asha was heading up North with Bran for most of Season 3, but has now separated from him and taken the youngest Stark son, Rickon.
Melisandre |Carice Von Houten
aka ‘Weird Babies’
Melisandre is a priestess who worships the mysterious Lord of Light. She claims to serve Stannis Baratheon, but seems to have other agendas. She can give birth to scary shadow babies who murder people.
Stannis Baratheon | Stephen Dillane
aka ‘Stan the Man’
The Baratheon brother with the least amount of charm, Stannis believes that the Iron Throne is his by right. He attacked King’s Landing toward the conclusion of Season 2, in the memorable Battle of the Blackwater but was defeated. Since then, he’s been moping about back at his castle at Dragonstone.
Thoros of Myr | Paul Kaye
aka ‘Crusty Melisandre’
Thoros of Myr is a drunken priest who worships the Lord of Light, like Melisandre. He travels in a troupe with Beric Dondarrion and has resurrected his pal on a number of occasions.
Gregor ‘The Mountain’ Clegane | Hafthor Julius Bjornsson
aka ‘Third Time Lucky’
This is the third time the actor for The Mountain has changed. Gregor Clegane is Sandor Clegane’s brother, and also the reason for his brother’s monstrous scars. He is a psychopath under the control of Tywin Lannister.
Yara Greyjoy | Gemma Whelan
One of the less interesting characters of the series, Yara is the favoured child of Balon Greyjoy and heir to the Iron Islands. Initially scornful of her brother Theon, Yara decided she liked him when his dick was cut off.
Brynden ‘The Blackfish’ Tully | Clive Russell
aka ‘Back In Blackfish’
The uncle of Catelyn Stark, Brynden Tully was the only character who managed to escape from the infamous Red Wedding. His nephew Edmure, the groom, was taken prisoner and is being held by Walder Frey.
Beric Dondarrion | Richard Dormer
aka ‘One eye good two eyes bad’
Beric is the leader of a troupe of merry men that doesn’t seem to do much except drink and hate on The Hound. They certainly haven’t made much progress toward their vague cause since their introduction, despite Beric and Thoros constantly reminding the audience of how much money they need. Beric has been killed a few times and resurrected by Thoros.
Balon Greyjoy | Patrick Malahide
aka ‘Squid Boy’
The wettest of blankets, Balon Greyjoy isn’t fun to watch and he sure doesn’t seem fun to be around. ReelGood would like to think that our parents would be slightly more upset if they were sent our genitals by some deranged torturer.
Mance Rayder | Ciarán Hinds
aka ‘King of the Dirtbags’
Mance Rayder hasn’t been seen much yet, despite featuring in mention since Season 1. Jon Snow met him briefly in this past Season. It’s hard to imagine that Rayder’s army poses much of a threat next to the White Walkers.