The sheer number of terrible movies that have sucked money out of me is something I’m deeply ashamed about. I also maintain it’s not entirely my fault. There are people out there who’s job it is to polish shits into diamonds and I stand here today holding them partially responsible for draining my wallet over the years. Have you ever been convinced a movie was going to be the greatest thing in the entire world based solely on it’s trailer? Did that film turn out to be Godzilla (1998)?
Although other studios are also responsible for pulling the wool over my eyes, I have this theory that there is some insane genius at the trailer department at Warner Bros. (if there is such a thing) who somehow has the magical ability of making terrible films seem wonderful. Honestly, Warner Bros. is the main culprit for this, it’s actually insane how well put together their sneaky money suckers can get.
Exhibit A. Terminator Salvation (2009)
I mean come on, this looks fucking awesome. They visuals are insane, the whole vibe of the trailer is sort of epic but thoughtful. They’ve got a half human/half robot thing going on with Sam Worthington (this was before we all realised he was actually pretty crap). Christian Bale was coming off The Dark Knight (2008) and the screenplay was rewritten by Jonathan Nolan. Oh man, we should have had a closer look before shelling out our $16.50. McG was the director. I think that should be enough to get the alarm bells blaring. Well played Warner Bros. trailer team, well played……
Exhibit B. Clash of the Titans (2010)
Ok, I’m aware that this was never going to be The Godfather Pt. 4, but it still looks like a pretty solid action film. This trailer had my whole house in an an uproar. Hughy my old housemate seemed convinced (like me) that there was no way this film could suck. We shelled out our cash, even bought a popcorn/coke combo and guess fucking what? It sucked. How the hell you make a film about mythological gods and monster fighting shit and destroying shit boring is absolutely beyond me. Warner Bros. trailer team – 1, John – 0.
Exhibit C – The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
I should have known! I should have been more suspicious after I was already tricked by The Matrix Reloaded trailer. I should have known. Once again the Warner Bros. trailer team managed to shatter the hopes of an innocent 16yo Matrix fan.
Exhibit D. Harry Potter series (2001 – 2011)
This has been going on for years and the bastards still haven’t been called out on it. Ok, I am aware that there are people out there who enjoy the Harry Potter films, but seriously, fuck off. The books shit all over anything Hollywood was able to pull out of their ass. And yet, after three terrible films, this trailer to the fourth instalment still had me misty eyed as it went through the three main characters getting older. Who are you evil trailer genius and how have you made me emotional over three terrible movies I’d never previously cared about?
I simply put the evidence in front of you, the ball is now in your court. Having said that, I’m already dreading the next time these bastards get me. It’s only a matter of time…..
If you’re digging ReelGood, sign up to our mailing list for exclusive content, early reviews and chances to win big!