SK: Clowns. We don’t know why, but they’re freaky. There’s a certain paganistic brutality to a clown, to the circus generally, that’s unsettling. Clowns are freaks who debase themselves to amuse us; they engage in pantomime and drive tiny cars but, of course, they get pushed too far. Horror directors have been giving us cruel clowns since at least the 1970s; we’ve had supernatural clowns ala Stephen King’s It, we’ve had regular homicidal clowns like Art the Clown in Damien Leone’s recent Terrifier trilogy, (yes, that clown turns out to be supernatural too). And who can forget Jon Watts’ 2014 creatively-named debut Clown (except everyone). John, today we’re reviewing Clown in a Cornfield, the new slasher horror-comedy from Eli Craig, which once again, features some sadistic clowning. I want to know just how clowny you found it. Did the clownness of this picture live up to expectations?

JM: I have to say, I found this one a bit lacking in the “jester” energy we all crave, but it does have some nice touches as a slasher. There’s a fairly good setup with the protagonist, Quinn (Katie Douglas), moving to the depressed rural town of Kettle Springs with her father (Aaron Abrams) in her last year of high school. Kettle Springs was built by a local corn syrup magnate, but has fallen on hard times since the ol’ syrup factory burned down. The town still honours the mascot of the corn syrup brand, Frendo, at an annual harvest festival. Tensions are brewing between the town’s zoomer youth and the oldies in Kettle Springs who want to keep things the way they are (heavily focused on syrup). Pretty soon into the movie, these tensions come to a head when Quinn’s new friends start getting butchered by a killer clown. But which of the town’s cast of freaks and lowlifes is responsible?

I’m sure we’ll talk about the clown more, but I have to say – they could’ve gone harder on the clownishness. He doesn’t spray anyone with water from a fake flower, there’s only one shot of his big stupid shoes, and he doesn’t do any juggling at all. What did you think?

SK: Yeah, so as you’ve touched on, it’s a whodunnit slasher in the realm of Scream or Valentine. That means it’s an unknown killer in a clown mask, rather than a killer clown. I hate to be semantic, but that’s disappointing. I like my killer clowns to be 100% clown, rather than motivated by some hokey Agatha Christie-esque backstory. What I’m trying to say is: don’t lure me in with the possibility of an ancient, demonic vengeful clown, then tell me it was actually old man Peters or something (and he would have gotten away with it “if it wasn’t for you snooping kids”). That’s not scary, and truthfully, Clown in the Cornfield utterly fails as a horror film.

And yet, it’s funny and charming enough, and at 96 minutes, it doesn’t outstay its welcome. The zoomer teens are appealing, hopeful, horny; all those things that trigger our nostalgia for a time long past, even if we know they’re going to be dispatched. Most of the kills are staged well and for laughs, such as when Frendo offers to spot a weightlifting jock with, let’s just say, sub-optimal results. The slasher tropes are all here; naturally, our Gen-Z teens are themselves making elaborate fake videos of Frendo killing them and uploading them to Instagram for laughs. So of course, when the real killer Frendo shows up, he’s not taken seriously by his victims until it’s far too late. We’ve seen this all before, but there’s a certain nostalgic panache with how Craig handles the action. Still, I’m sad about the level of clownness, and that was my prevailing feeling leaving the cinema.

JM: Yep, I agree the film actually has a bit going for it as a comedy. It plays the generational gap well for humour, and it’s certainly the first slasher I’ve seen that really seems to be aimed predominantly at zoomers. I guess the genre really is evergreen. But it’s a pity that Clown in a Cornfield really doesn’t show what a slasher is capable of. Still, I felt generally pretty well-disposed towards it, even if it’s kinda a failure.

On a side note, apparently this film was based on a novel? For some reason, I find that oddly unsettling. 6/10

SK: I’m giving it the same score. Didn’t hate it, but in terms of clown for my buck, it undelivered. It actually wasn’t that big on cornfields either … 6/10.

Clown in a Cornfield is currently playing in cinemas.