Since around 2011 I have been doing my best not to buy into hype. I avoid trailers when I can, to the point of literally shutting my eyes and blocking my ears any time a trailer for Looper came on last year. I’ve found that if you keep your expectations reasonable, don’t geek out and go in to films with a level head, you have a much better chance of enjoying the film and appreciating its qualities from an objective level.

With that in mind, here is my review of Pacific Rim.

SO THERE’S THESE GIANT ROBOTS AND THERE’S ALSO LIKE GODZILLAS AND THEY FIGHT AND THERE’S THIS PART WHERE, LIKE, THE ROBOT IS FIGHTING THE MONSTER AND THE MONSTER HITS THE ROBOT AND THE ROBOT GOES FLYING AND LIKE DOES A FLIP BUT THEN IT LANDS AND THE PILOTS ARE ALL LIKE ‘GRRRRR WE’RE MAD NOW’ AND THEN THE ROBOT DOES THIS FLYING JUMP PUNCH IT’S SO GREAT AND IT’S LIKE, THERE’S THIS, UH, LIKE A HOLE IN THE OCEAN WHERE ALL THE MONSTERS COME OUT AND THEY EAT AMERICA BUT THEN THE WORLD IS ALL ‘NUH-UH WE AIN’T HAVING THAT’ AND THEY BUILD THESE GIANT ROBOTS CALLED JAEGERS OR SOMETHING AND THEY NEED TWO DUDES TO PILOT THEM BECAUSE ONE DUDE ISN’T AWESOME ENOUGH AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE GUY WHO IS CO-PILOTS WITH HIS BROTHER AND HIS BROTHER DIES AND HE’S SAD BUT THEN STRINGER BELL FROM THE WIRE IS ALL “WE NEED YOU BACK” AND THEN ALL THE ROBOTS FROM ALL THE COUNTRIES ARE THERE AND THERE’S AN AUSTRALIAN ONE AND THEY’RE ALL “STRIKAH EUROIKAH IS BEST ROBOT” (but we’re supposed to be all “nuh-uh american robot is best robot!” but i still really liked striker eureka) AND ANYWAY MAIN GUY HAS TO BUDDY UP WITH THAT JAPANESE LADY FROM BABEL AND SHE’S ALL “MY DREAM IS TO PILOT THE ROBOT” (and I’m all “yeah me too”) AND ALSO CHARLIE FROM IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY AND RON PERLMAN HANG OUT BUT THEN THERE’S PART WHERE LIKE THE AMERICAN ROBOT PICKS UP THIS HUGE CARGO SHIP AND BEATS UP A MONSTER WITH IT BUT THEN THE MONSTER IS ALL PEACE AND FLIES OFF AND CARRIES THE ROBOT AND THEY FIGHT IN SPACE, IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL, I SAW IT IN LIKE 3D AND IMAX AND IT WAS HUGE AND THE SOUNDTRACK IS ALL BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM AND STRINGER BELL IS ALL “TODAY IS OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY” (except not really) BUT EVERYONE IS JUST ON THEIR FEET GOING “YEAH! FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!” SO I’M GONNA GO SHOPPING FOR TOYS AND I GUESS BUY ALL THE TOYS OF THE ROBOTS (and maybe get a monster toy so they can fight) BUT WE SHOULD TOTALLY GO SEE IT AGAIN AND GET DINNER AFTERWARDS THAT SOUNDS COOL ALRIGHT LATER.

But keep your expectations reasonable.

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