Well….fuck.

pixelsWe have no one to blame for Sandler’s continual cinematic output but ourselves. When I say that we have no one to blame but ourselves I mean that I blame all of you, because fuck knows that I haven’t been going to see any of his films over the past decade. Have you ever been watching a trailer, mildly interested in where it’s all going and then Adam Sandler turns up and not only does the interest evaporate but it’s replaced by a mix of anger and dread? Yeah, well that’ll probably happen when you watch this trailer for his new ‘film’, Pixels. Adam Sandler is probably a fantastic fellow in all other regards, but it’s time he took his millions and lived out the rest of his life on a tropical island surrounded by beautiful women and expensive gadgets or whatever. We can’t think of a single good reason that Sandler should ever make another film but a whole heap of very compelling ones why he shouldn’t. Anyhoo –

“In 1982, in the hopes of establishing peaceful communication with extraterrestrial life, NASA launches a time capsule into outer space containing images and footage of Earth life and culture. However, aliens misinterpret enclosed video-feeds of classic arcade games as a declaration of war, specifically Pac-Man, with the Earth being him, and the aliens being the ghosts. They attack the Earth using the games as models for their various assaults, including Pac-Man. President William Cooper (Kevin James) calls upon his best friend since childhood, former 1980s arcader champion Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler), who is now a home theater installer and had a previous relationship with William’s wife (Jane Krakowski). After support from Professor Iwatani (Denis Akiyama) to seduce Pac-Man turns to him pixelating, Brenner decides to lead a team of retrogamers (Peter Dinklage and Josh Gad) to defeat the aliens with various technology similar to those used in games.”

Pixels stars Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jane Krakowski, Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage and Josh Gad and is set for release in July, 2015.

Check out the trailer below – 

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